Why I am getting divorced.

I intend on making this blog as amusing and hilarious as possible, mainly because my life currently feels like the biggest joke ever.
Quick and dirty, let me explain how my wonderful husband and I began such a beautiful marriage. We were dating for about a week in 2016, and then I got raped (not by my husband) . Totally sucked but lets not get too far into that. He was new to the area because of his military career. I met him in summer camp when we were 15 and 16 but we totally reconnected on Tinder. Classy right?
So, the rape happened (not by my husband) and when all hell broke loose he was the only person who gave me emotional support. I felt like he was the only one who cared. So after four months of dating, we decided to get court married and be together forever!!! Why wouldn’t I want to marry a guy who opened his home to me, has adored me for exactly who I was and loved me.
I met his family and that’s when things turned to shit. They hated me. I wanted a small wedding, his mom guilted me out of it. His 16 year old sister thought she controlled us and his dad is actually a man who cheated on his own wife too. I wasn’t welcomed into the fam at all. Pretty shitty because my husband was keeping me from mine.
As I battled depression, panic disorder and PTSD from being raped, my husband lied and snuck around and cheated on my by the end of the year. I fought through my PTSD from being raped to please him sexually but, I mean he is his fathers son, and it just was not enough.
We had good times, bad times, he has mental problems just like I do. But he blamed all his problems on mine. Crappy right?
The first year we were in love, happy. We got a dog and a cat.
The second year (the year I got a job, got cheated on, attempted suicide and got abandoned) , was shitty. I put forth desperate efforts to make him happy but he decided he did not give a shit about me anymore. I spent all my money to try to buy his love back but it just did not work. I begged his family to break down the walls dividing us, and it just did not work. His mom called me the C word and said I was “just a piece of paper”.
Early December 2017, I thought I finally had a chance to fix my marriage. But it was a trick! His mother met me for lunch where I cried and told her I just wanted her son to be happy. She was actually just distracting me so that my husband,  his father and gross sister could come steal my pets (including my emotional support animal dog), furniture and even food.
The betrayal was brutal and so began our separation.
This is a very very brief over view because I am tired of feeling so sorry for myself.
I want to talk about how everyone my age (at least in the south) is getting married and even now getting divorced. I thought maybe if I shared some hilarious advice and stories and coping mechanisms for people getting divorced at young age, maybe it would help me and also help you. Id love to hear other peoples stories (of all ages) as well as advice.
Divorce is ugly, and you can feel like your life is a huge joke. And while everyone tells me I am lucky because I am getting out of this so young, I don’t feel very lucky at all. It feels like my life is completely falling apart and that I am worth absolutely nothing.
I typed getting divorced at 21 on google and all I found were articles about people who were 21 and their parents were getting divorced.
So despite my typos and bad grammar you may see throughout this blog, I hope maybe somewhere I am helping someone get through what I am going through or at least giving them a good laugh or a silly idea.
Since the separation started right around Christmas, I figured my next post will talk about how I handled the first month of my separation and the holidays.
I don’t expect this to become a popular blog, but I hope maybe, somewhere, I am helping someone. Is is crazy how ugly and hurtful a person can get, when they were supposed to love you unconditionally.

3 thoughts on “Why I am getting divorced.

  1. What your husband and his family did to you, taking the animals and food, was something only very cruel people would do. I am always astounded at how mean and nasty people can be. It probably won’t help you, but you would have been miserable with him even if you were married to him for 20 years. He isn’t worth one minute of your time.

    My first marriage also ended in divorce after we were married for 5 years. We had two daughters; he started to sleep with other women when I was pregnant with my second child. It was so painful. I understand the pain. I had panic attacks too, after we split up. I was so afraid to be raising my daughters alone. I still loved my husband, but he quit loving me because I changed when I became a Christian.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is heartbreaking! I’m sorry all these wonderful people did such nice things for you! I sincerely hope you are able to find some help from someone some way. You really need support. I feel for you. It sometimes helps to write it out. I know some people who have been through things. I can point the way.
    Americana Injustica – she has been through a lot
    Brave and Reckless – actually, find her blog and there are many wonderful people who can help you find support. It’s a collective that she runs, with incredible and powerful stories.

    Like

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